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Old 10-22-2014, 10:52 PM
todayoklw todayoklw is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 22
Default Don't know how to live a normal life.

Don't know how to live a normal life, I mean I just eat too much, watch tv and play online game everyday, if I don't live life like that, what should I do? According to The Power Of Self-coaching, I know I'm avoiding life, now here is what I never know how to do, I'm avoiding life, then if I face my life, what should I do? I still have no idea where to begin, you've mentioned Choosing Happiness and Unleashing in The Power Of Self-coaching, is that mean if I face my life I should look into my heart to find out what can make me happy and should follow my heart to unleash myself first?

VERY IMPORTANT: Is Choosing Happiness and Unleashing the starting point of the five steps of self-coaching? I mean, if we use the five steps, how to know when to ues it? Are the moments we don't live life for happiness and don't unleash ourselves? Or are the moments we avoid our responsibilities? And how to separate responsibilities from control?

Thank you so much!
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Old 10-23-2014, 02:12 PM
Dr. Joe Dr. Joe is offline
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,015

Your life right now has become a routine, as you say, of avoidance. You are anesthetizing yourself from engaging in more meaningful pursuits. I understand you simply don't know how to proceed, however, by becoming victimized by your habits (eating, TV, games) you are supporting your habit/routine of insecurity and avoidance. Perhaps this is where you need to begin, insisting on more moderation rather than indulgence in these activities. At first this will create a vacuum and it's certainly possible you won't know what to do to fill the empty space. This is where my concept of "releasing happiness" comes into play, rather than trying to figure out what to do, see what happens. It may be a "whim," for example, "It's such a nice day, perhaps I'll take a walk." Do keep in mind that capitulating to destructive habits will prevent you from ever getting in touch with more positive inclinations. So, again, I stress trying to moderate, minimize or eliminate anything destructive in your life. All this said, sometimes a low-grade depressed mood could be involved, shutting down your motivation and enthusiasm for life. If you suspect that this might be the case then it's like walking against a current in a stream, every step becomes a battle. If you do suspect this is the case, I would suggest that you consider a consultation with a mental health professional. There's a Zen adage that when the pupil is ready, the teacher appears. Start to release yourself from destructive habits and then let's see what appears.

I do wish you well,
Dr. Joe

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