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Old 03-01-2005, 08:07 PM
baber baber is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 1
Default Suicide as an option

Dear Dr Joe the year 2004 must have been one of my worst years in my life,whether it is 33 years or more,but at this stage i can't foresee that it would be for another 33 years.
I've lost my job,and you know how difficult it is in south africa to find something to fit my profile.Secondly I've got difforced,which hurts me the most,although I am trying and praying for love that I screwed up but want to show the world I am a changed person.

currently when ever i see my wife i just want to burst out in tears,that is not even when i see my children.
My friends are very well aware of everything and helpfull,but still i feel i have lost the guts to remain society.[/b]
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Old 03-03-2005, 01:14 AM
Dr. Joe Dr. Joe is offline
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,015

Let me begin by saying that my words are no replacement for a face-to-face contact with a mental health professional. I can give you some thoughts that hopefully will aid in your confusion about your difficult circumstances and at least let you know that there is hope. But please, keep in mind, with severe depression, especially with any thoughts of suicide, itís imperative that you contact someone immediatelyñtoday! One thing about depression, it has the tendency to compress and distort your perception of life and livingñthe benefit of speaking to a qualified professional, one who can offer an objective view and support you during these difficult times, is essential.

This is such a terrible situation for you. You can't do much to change what has happened, but you can change how all this effects you. With a bit of Self-Coaching, you can begin to heal your wounds and start the process of rebuilding your life. Things may seem very bleak right now, but don't let insecurity cloud an already difficult circumstance with unneeded negativity, doubt, or fear. My grandmotherís favorite expression was, ìYou canít stop a bird from flying into your hair, but you donít have to help it build a nest.î You arenít going to stop the thoughts regarding your marriage or job--the shame, or the guilt, but you donít have to allow yourself to be building a nest by adding a second thought, a third, and so on. I feel youíre going to have to develop a discipline that allows you to step apart from the insecurity-driven tendency to ruminate and pursue these thoughts endlessly. Again, youíre not going to stop the pain of this situation, but you donít have to exacerbate the situation by feeding it with ruminative thoughts instigated by insecurity. In my book The Power of Self-Coaching I have a five step program called Self-Talk that I think you would find very valuable in helping you handle the skirmishes ahead. By stepping apart from insecurity-driven, Reflexive Thinking, you will be in a position to become more intuitive, instinctual, and effective in handling the nuisances of this ongoing struggle as they unfold. Youíre going to need to preserve your emotional stamina as you go forward, eventually trying to find solace and closure to all this.

Disclaimer: The diagnosis of clinical anxiety or depressive disorders requires a physician or other qualified mental health professional. The information provided is intended for informational purposes only. Please understand that the opinions shared with you are meant to be general reference information, and are not intended as a diagnosis or substitute for consulting with your physician or other qualified mental health professional.

I wish you the best,
Dr. Joe
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