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Old 02-26-2005, 11:22 PM
saree saree is offline
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Default evil little girl

:twisted: when i was a little girl like 8 years old my mom always call me bad things she always treatme really bad, she never kissme and hug me and nothing. and i'm grow up. when i was a teenager was terrible. bad things happen to me. whit my family
my brothers and sisters they was like my mom. they hate me. because my mom always told them, i'm a evil little girl. i' was afraid about her, and i always hidden under my bed, and was criying there feeling alone and sad.and afraid. and i was thinking.why god give these family to me.and i start hate him. i keep in my mind, i hate you god. and try to talk with the devil. i found the evil.love me. i stick devil pictures under my bed.and feel he love me. maybe was my imagination. i grow up whith that problem til.20 years old.and the same problem with my family.but the problem now.i'm 36 now. and i have been terribles nichtmares.with my mom and wake up criying. too much.and my live is a nightmare.i feel like every body hate me.and i feel like the devil is my god.and he tellme everithing what to do.if somebody hurtme he is there and protect to me.and these people that try the hurt me o something. they always got bad things.from my mind.and some times when i feel angry y hurt me for my self.scratch my body hit my body my hair my head. and i have too many probles with my self. when i remember all the bad words my mom told me when i was a little girl or teen ager, i cant'stop the cry.and i feel like i can't be a 36 years old person . i can't mature my mind.some times i' think like 18 or 20 years old. and i feel like these age and i look like these age.i think is something wrong with me. ' have 3 kids. and love them too much. but some times i treat them like my mom treatme.and my husband some times call me. crazy and evil too.he think that i have a mental problems.please cuold you help me and tell me if these is normal. o is something wrong with me.and i want to know if you understand my message because. i can't write pretty good in english.i write and speak spanish. my big problem whit me is that. i can't be mature 36 years old because i feel like i left my mind in my childhood.and that dont' let me be a normal person.and i can't stop to think about the devil love me and he take care of my.please help me.o tell me what i need to do.do you think i'm crazy, o something like that.thanks Dr.Joe. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
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Old 03-01-2005, 12:58 PM
Dr. Joe Dr. Joe is offline
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My words clearly are no replacement for a face-to-face contact with a mental health professional. I can give you some thoughts that hopefully will aid in your confusion about depression and at least let you know that there is hope. But please, keep in mind, with severe depression; especially if there are any thoughts of suicide, itís imperative that you contact someone immediatelyñtoday! One thing about depression, it has the tendency to compress and distort your perception of life and livingñthe benefit of speaking to a qualified professional, one who can offer an objective view and support you during these difficult times, is essential.

Since you wrote to me, I'm going to assume that there is a part of you that IS NOT convinced that hurting yourself in any way is the answer. And itís this part that legitimately asks for help. This is whatís healthy in you and this is the part of you that needs some Self-Coaching. The truth is your mother's perceptions were terribly defective. As a child you didnít have the resources to escape her extremely distorted view of you. You came to accept her pronouncement that you were evil. And this has become your habit. And this is exactly the habit that you must dismantle. How? Well, for any habit to persist it must be fed. The perception that you are evil is a long standing habit/imprint that must be starved. Self-Coaching can teach you how to starve this faulty, destructive perception by learning to separate fact from fiction, learning to stop listening to reflexive, destructive thoughts, and finally learning to let go of congested, overthinking and start living more spontaneously (i.e., not contaminated by old imprints).

Low self-esteem is a problem of insecurity and insecurity is also a habit. Thatís where Iíd like you to begin addressing your problem. When victimized by feelings of worthlessness, negativity, or in your case a destructive identification, your lives become compromised and you begin to slip further and further into depressive, self-deprecating thoughts. Please recognize that your perception is a habit, habits were learned, and habits can be broken

Insecurity, low self-esteem, lack of confidence, are all trust issues. Whatís needed is for you to build your trust muscle (to begin to see the truth about who and what you are). In The Power of Self-Coaching, there are five essential steps that are designed to teach you just that--put you in the drivers seat and allow you to recognize that you have a choice. With self-trust, youíll be in a position not only to risk believing in yourself once again, but perhaps even more importantly, youíll learn to stop feeding your habit of insecurity. Psychological friction, depression, and anxiety must all be fed by insecurity in order to own you. Stop the feeding process (by learning to risk self-trust) and youíll be liberating yourself from the distortions of insecurity that have led to your long-standing malaise. In order to restore a more healthy sense-of-self, Iíd like you begin by taking a look at the Self-Coaching Philosophy articles at this website. (FYI: I see that Amazon.com has a Spanish translation of Self-Coaching available: Como superar la ansiedad y la depresion : Que hacer cuando su vida se descontrola).

But please, try to set up an appointment with a mental health professional. You have so much confusion, it can really help to have someone help you sort through the many misperceptions youíve accumulated over the years.

Disclaimer: The diagnosis of clinical anxiety or depressive disorders requires a physician or other qualified mental health professional. The information provided is intended for informational purposes only. Please understand that the opinions shared with you are meant to be general reference information, and are not intended as a diagnosis or substitute for consulting with your physician or other qualified mental health professional.

Yours,
Dr. Joe
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