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Old 08-13-2014, 08:07 PM
todayoklw todayoklw is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 22
Default Please give me some guidance.

Dear Dr. Joe,

I've been controlling life for over 17 years, my life is a mess, I want to change completely, but I don't know where to start (I'm in a mess), what I need to change (I even can't make sure what problems I have), and how to really apply the five steps of self-coaching to my own problems, would you please give me some guidance or ask me my problems? Hope you've met a person with same problems I have, so you will know what exactly I want to express.

Thank you so much!

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Old 08-14-2014, 01:35 PM
Dr. Joe Dr. Joe is offline
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,015

Since you mention the five steps of Self-Talk, I will assume you're reading The Power of Self-Coaching. Sometimes when there is confusion and a generic frustration with life, there could be an underlying reason such as a mood disturbance or a mild depression. Of course I cannot know or diagnose if this is the case for you, however I would suggest that you consider whether or not your mood is a factor in your sturggles. For example, are you generally pessimistic, prone to excessive worry, rumination or anxiety? If so, then I would recommend Self-Coaching (the green cover book) along with an evaluation/assessment from a mental health professional.

Although the Self-Coaching approach is similar in both books, Self-Coaching deals more with the insecurity-driven thinking (i.e., doubts, fears and negatives) that can create such life frustrations. Should you have any concerns about anxiety or depression, again, you should, before anything else, have a consultation with a mental health professional to assess what may be going on. Self-help can be an adjunct to therapy and together, are often quite effective. As you can see from my response, I've given you a generic response to your question. There is no way I can know what your specific needs are, but I do encourage you to consider more carefully what may be instigating your confusion, hesitations and frustrations.

Dr. Joe

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